Other Stuff On TV

Blimey, Come Dine With Me (yeah, so what - get over it!) has gone all trouser~tightening! The quote in the title is what one 'gentleman' *coughs* said in reference to his abilities in the kitchen - rather making a meal of it... *apologies* How, exactly, does one "ride" an entire room? (Well, I've done it once or twice but I was much younger...) Even more intriguing is how this 'human' (and I use the term quite wrongly) equates food preparation with lurve~making. Each to his/her own I guess. Next time I'm finished in the bathroom, I'm gonna say, "I rode the toilet." (Sounds like my first wife.)


I shan't do a 'catch up' on the telly for the past couple of months as it'll take too long (Quentin Tarantino - a mentor on Idol - whaa??) but I may well come back to Flight of the Conchords as it starts on BBC Four this week. That channel also hosted Newswipe with Charlie Brooker and as much as I enjoyed Screenwipe, this foray falls a little short. Charlie's views aren't wrong but they're not exactly new. We know the media is exploitative and increasingly opinion orientated with facts serving as some kind of ridiculous uncle who pops in every now and again but ultimately gets ignored. Michael Moore has been doing this schtick for years. But, of course, just because it has been said before does not mean it shouldn't again.

Similarly, I tired of people banging on about how 'funny' Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle was. Now, I am well aware that his style is part of his 'charm' and that repetition is his tool but is taking a shot at Chris Moyles the best he could do? That's hardly thoughtful. Slagging off celeb books? Come on. Any right~minded person can see that these things are odious and we don't need some Morrissey lookalike telling us so. Having said that, I did watch every week. Possibly for those two or three genuine larfs that sat amongst his pitiful teenage~style angst at the world. How I yearn for Histor's Eye...


During my time off from SoTV, I rarely ventured to the cinema but I did return last week and caught some gems. First up, MONSTERS vs ALIENS IN 3D. Surprisingly good with some top visuals, though it may appear I have a 'thing' for tall women. STAR TREK is back, in case you hadn't noticed, and purty good it was too. The Trek films have been non~events for the most part with only FIRST CONTACT being of any worth (I should add that it's bloody good to boot) and the mall screen series haven't really done it for me either (though there are some good episodes - notably, the ones with 'time' issues). When it was announced, way back, that time travel would take some part in the plot I took notice and set my trousers for stun.

And quite rightly too. Star Trek is a blast though I found, on closer inspection, that there were quite a few problems with it (though not enough to dampen my enthusiasm): Winona Ryder, for example - quite simply, why? She was as bad as her make~up job; the introductions to the major players were clumsy at best; Chekov and his accent became annoying very quickly; the camera 'work' (why are you trying to make it look realistic one moment and then cinematic the next? It don't work!); Spock meeting himself (gah~roan!); and there's more but I shall stop. It is a treat~dot~com and I look forward to the sequel which will probably be a reboot of this one where we get to meet the cast of Babylon 5 (my favourite of the Star Trek series*).

Pick of the bunch (and probably the year though I don't want to prejudge) is CORALINE. I noted this one a while back when it was announced that my faves, They Might Be Giants, were doing the soundtrack. Sadly, there's only one of their songs left as the production went into a 'darker area', but it's a corker nonetheless. In fact, the soundtrack is remarkable as the direction and visuals. I don't use the word extraordinary much, but Coraline is extra~flippin'~ordinary. Truly a work of genius - treat~dot~com~forward~slash~brill~skills. I caught it in 3D and thoroughly recommend everyone does so. I saw it in a cinema full of noisy kids (mainly gurls it has to be said) but as soon as the film came on BAM! Silence. Do not miss.

* This, as I am sure you aware, is a joke but I have found, from past experiences, that there are idiots who sometimes come here that don't get 'humour' and decide to get all cranky in the comments section (if I publish them) - so I'm just 'clarifying' it. If you're still offended, I'm sorry for mentioning Babylon 5. I've never seen it as I missed Babylons 1-4 so I didn't think I would 'get' it.